



I saw this question on a yahoo group post recently that generated quite a bit of responses. The post was as follows--
Date: Monday, October 13, 2008, 5:51 PM
"Hello! First, let me apologize for the mass email, but this seemed to be the easiest way to get my question out to the most amount of people in the shortest amount of time. I'm a mom first and seriously contemplating homeschooling my 7 year old daughter come sept for her grade 3 year. I'm also a masters of ed student who currently takes a lot of flak from fellow educators for my support and choice to homeschool my daughter. So, because of this flak, I'm doing my thesis on homeschooling and socialization. So far, ALL the literature within academics so far speaks to the positive aspects of homeschooling. And yet, academics still don't acknoweldge this. So, I'm going one step furthuer and trying to find homeschool articles and personal accounts of what socialization is for those who currently homeschool or have done so in the past. If you can help in anyway (cause this is to also help convince my hubby that this IS the right decision for our daughter) would be greatly appreaciated.
Please email me off line though at dandelionsmom.
Nicole, Dandelions mom, Future homeschool mom
I began typing an email to Nicole about my personal experiences with the socialization of homeschooled children. Of course, the email ended up being QUITE long and so I thought I'd go ahead and share it with you all through the blog. I'm sure it will hit the mark with so many of you! :)
Here was my response to her:
"Your post asked to email you offline so I didn't reply to all. I hope that's okay. I'm going to be blogging about this very same issue soon. I've even thought about doing nothing more than an entirely pictoral blog of my children socializing :) and not have to say a word. I will let you know when its done. In the meantime, I also had my son in public school until last year and socialization was admittedly my husband's and MY largest concern. If you do not homeschool or do not know anyone personally who does - it can be scary.
But once I started, it was like, "what was I worried about?" lol. I began homeschooling my twin girls this year as well and I have no intentions of ever going back to state schools. My son has MORE of a social life now than he ever did in public school. From my own experience - I do not see where they obtain any real socialization skills in state schools. They are stuck at a desk all day long. They lose priveliges if they speak to each other. The state has cut their available recess time to 20 minutes per day - yes folks, 20 minutes- for what was then a 6 year old boy! 20 minutes out of his chair - mostly they just took off running outside to let off their energy and before they could really have enough time to "socialize"- to see who they might connect with- it was time to go back in. Worse yet, the privelige that they lose if they speak in class IS recess time. When can they "socialize"? Not at lunch either! My son's school (and this is not a "bad" public school. It was brand new and in a "great school district") anyway, in his cafeteria they LITERALLY had a stoplight installed. When the stoplight was yellow- the entire cafeteria had to whisper because if the noise level went up at all - the stoplight went to red and guess what? NO TALKING! And can I tell you - anyone who has children knows this- if you take 5 classes of 26 children that ran the ages of 5-7 years and leave them in a desk with "busy work" most of the day because the teacher is dealing (alone mind you) with one of the 3-6 "bad" students and take away the small 20 minutes of recess- the lunchroom is NOT going to be quiet. They can't help it! I truly believe their little bodies can't help it. Each time I was in the cafeteria (which was at least once per week) - that light was on red at a minimum of 10 minutes - out of a 30 minute lunch. I have been in there with my son during times that the light stayed red the ENTIRE time!! Where IS the socialization???
My son had a teacher last year when I pulled him out of public school that actually ENCOURAGED homeschooling. I would never tell the school this and cause problems for her but she was amazing. She was alone in a classroom with 26 1st graders!! 5-6 of which were being reviewed for "emotional" or learning problems or the big state school push on ADHD. She had been teaching for 15 years and said most of her close knit friends that had been teaching as long as she had- had either pulled their children or their grandchildren out of state schools and were homeschooling them! She told me that her husband begged her to retire because teaching wasn't a joy for her anymore - after 15 years she barely made it through her day with her sanity. She said when she first began teaching, the kids had plenty of outdoor time, time to talk on the playground, to make friends, to giggle at lunch --- and they wonder why so many young children -especially boys- are aggressive and frustrated -- or "ADHD".
Anyway- from my own PERSONAL experience - I can vouch for the completely reversed socialization question. Most every homeschool child I have met since we began this amazing journey has been far more socialized than any public school child I had to work with. I'm sure since you've mentioned the statistics you've read, that you are aware of the positives. I sat at a park with my new "homeschool mom" friends when we first began homeschooling and marveled at the "social" skills of these children!! To them, it was normal--- kids speaking to adults with ease, no nervousness or shyness. Older kids and younger kids all playing together. Older kids helping the younger kids. No bullying or mean spiritedness. Sharing!!! Sharing without being told to share more importantly!! Laughing and just plain having fun! Families together - sharing the same circle of friends and enjoyment. Moms talking to other moms' children - not in a fake way but KNOWING them and having REAL conversations! I was so blown away that I knew in my heart that it was right for us.
I didn't touch upon the bullying and violence and lack of morals in state schools today. That is another "socialization" issue - I will mention one thing, "If the peer pressure, violence, degredation of morals, lack of self control, lack of manners, lack of plain, old kindness, every child on Ritalin, every child having to share in the same history or beliefs no matter what their own thoughts, sexuality of children, loss of morals, I could go on- anyway - if this is what the state schools and general society consider socialization - they can have it! I'd rather my children be hermits!!
My son was shy, not one to necessarily start the conversation but so easy to get along with and laid back once he did. I honestly worried that he may become more withdrawn if I homeschooled him. That was one of my biggest concerns. What I have experienced is a now a confident, moral, friendly, strong young man. Homeschooling was the BEST thing I ever did for his social life! He's active in tae kwon do (3 days per week minimum) - even to the point of sparring every friday night in front of a room full of peers and older children and adults. Competing in martial arts tournaments and jumping up in front of a panel and room full of people for belt testing. He takes Spanish, PE, and Science classes once a week with a homeschool coop group. He heads over to an "open gym" every friday for the afternoon and I barely get a quick "bye mom!" before he's run off looking for someone to play with! Of course, they also have friends at church and other activities just like any other child that attends public schools. We go on field trips, bowling with other homeschoolers, BINGOs, play dates, birthday parties, park days weekly when the weather is nice. We go to other children's homes and have their friends over our home for play. When he was in public school - outside of a birthday party once or twice a year - there wasnt any socializing outside of school. We attend shows, plays, special events. My twin 5 year old daughters and I recently attended a CYT play of "Snow White" that one of our coop friends was performing in. Most of the girls from our coop were there and they had so much fun!
There are, of course, so many studies and books that promote the positive roles that homeschooling plays in healthy socialization. There is certainly the moral factor - largely due the omission of the Bible and God in our schools - but that is another subject. I'm not sure why there is still the "socialization stigma" on homeschooling other than lack of knowledge. People are afraid of what they don't know - or things that are outside society's "norms" or they don't want to feel guilty that they choose not to give their life to their own children and homeschool them. They don't want to think about having to give up some of the material things that come with two working parents or their own ambitions and goals to stay home and do what the Lord calls us to do in home education. I have pulled up lists of famous and "important" American figures that were homeschooled - obviously capable of socializing. There are quotes from competent and intelligent Americans and World leaders concerning the lack of christianity and moral education in our schools. You can find it with a simple google search. I'm currently reading an amazing book by R.C. Sproul Jr. titled, "When You Rise Up". His passion and case for parents being the children's educators is moving. Of course, there are so many books and studies with positive homeschooling results. There's James Dobson, Greg Harris, James McDonald. Phil Lancaster, Douglas Phillips - and two of the "pioneers" Raymond Moore and John Holt. Raymond Moore being a former employee of the US Department of Education and Holt, an ivy league graduate and teacher.
Here is a link to a 2003 study conducted on the "first generation" of homeschoolers who are now adults and the impact of homeschooling on their lives. This study specifically targets socialization questions and results of formerly homeschooled students in comparison with adults of the same age group from the general US population. The study provides critics with the proof that "...homeschooling produces successful adults who are actively involved in their communities and who continue to value education for themselves and for their children." ~conclusion taken from the study. The link to study results and a pdf of the full study is http://www.hslda.org/research/ray2003/default.asp
I'm certain you will find all of the answers you are looking for in statistics, studies, books, and the Internet but I wanted to give you a personal experience to think about. Please feel free to email me with any questions. :) I'd love to help in any way that I can. :)
Now that I've written so much :) I'm going to post this to my blog along with the pictures I told you about. You can find it (it might be especially helpful to show your hubby) at
http://homeschoolnaturestudy.blogspot.com/
http://www.cafepress.com/homeschoolnatur"
I'm sure so many of you come across this "issue" and I hope this helps you feel supported in knowing what you are doing is THE BEST thing for your children! If my experience can ease even one homeschooling mom's mind ~ then its worth the post!
Blessings! Tiffany
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Happy & Socialized |
"The heavens are telling the glory ofCharlotte Mason wrote (volume 1, page 43):
God; and the firmament proclaims his handiwork.," ~Psalm 19:1 NRSV
"For we are an overwrought generation, running to nerves as a
cabbage runs to seed; and every hour spent in the open is a clear gain, tending to the increase of brain power and bodily vigour, and to the lengthening of life itself. They who know what it is to have fevered skin and throbbing brain deliciously soothed by the cool touch of the air are inclined to make a new rule of life, Never be within doors when you can rightly be without."
"A weed is a plant growing where we wish something else to grow, and a plant may, therefore, be a weed in some locations and not in others."
I continued talking to them about other plants that may be a weed to others but not to them or vice versa. The first plant that came to mind was our glorious morning glories! We looked at our morning glories and discussed why we love them so:
"A weed may crowd out our cultivated plants, by
stealing the moisture and nourishment in th soil which they should have; or it may shade them out by putting out broad leaves and shutting off their sunlight."
"Each weed has its own way of winning in the struggle with our crops, and it behooves us to find that way as soon as possible
in order to circumvent it."
2- Where did they find their weeds? (in the lawn for the dandelions and in the rose garden for the vines) By what agency was its seed brought and dropped? (We talked about the different ways seeds travel - birds, wind, people, squirrels, etc. A great book to read about this is The Usborne First Book of Nature. We take it slow - only a 2 page layout per day but its colorful and informative and my children seem to really like it. If you want to supplement - I would recommend this book.)
3- Why must we study the habits of a weed before we know how to fight it? (Each weed has its own way of taking over our beloved gardens so we must study it in order to defeat it)
HNS p. 512~ "(God) is the great farmer. Continually (He) sows and reaps, making all the forces of the universe the plants' tools and helpers; the sun's rays, wind, rain and snow, insects and birds, animals small and great, even to the humble burrowing worms of the earth..."
Acts 20:35b
— “[T]he Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’
”
Valerie at Little Blots had this great idea for Homeschool Closet Giveaway (click the graphic to the right for her link) and I just LOVE It! What a generous and amazing idea!!
I realize we are about a week behind the other giveaways- but think of it as a "2nd chance to win." :) :)
Listed below are the "shelves" I have to giveaway. Simply leave a comment on my blog with which shelves you are interested in and I will draw a winner this Friday, September 19th.Shelf 4: Set of 3 science readers. This shelf includes a prior library book, "Experiments with Animal Behavior" by Ovid K Wong; Scholastic "Butterflies" book (very simple, easy book- great for prek - k); Hello Reader! Level 4, "Armies of Ants" by Walter Retan. I will mention on the "Armies of Ants" book- there are mentions of "hundreds of thousands of years ago". Just a warning. You can easily skip over this part but I wanted to ensure it was pointed out.
So those are my 4 shelves for this week. I think this is such an amazing idea that we may continue it once a week or so. We have so many books laying around and its wonderful to be able to pass them along when we're finished! I think this is such a blessing!
Please comment before midnight on 9/19/08 and I will email the winners letting them know they've won. My son has a sparring tournament on Saturday so please bear with me as I get the emails out this weekend. :) Good luck!
In His Name,
Tiffany
Romans 12:13 — “Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life: The goal is to grow in character, In Christ-likeness.This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife,Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you got to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believ'e that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are inyour life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
If you read many of my posts - you will see that I prefer the Charlotte Mason method of homeschool. And the more I pray on my homeschool decisions and topics - the more natural things seem to occur. As a mom who feels "called" to homeschool - this only encourages me and I LOVE IT! There is nothing better than feeling the Lord's presence in important things that you do! And for all homeschooling moms -- what WE do to me - is one of THE most important things that women can be called to do!
What does this have to do with our Virgin Tiger Moth? Not much :) but since I have been so incredibly blessed to have these challenges fall into our laps almost - I wanted to give praise to our Creator for making things so clear to me - and hope that helps someone else!
Our focus then is going to be insects and we have been blessed to have Barb's challenges every week for an extra "umph" to help us out! The kids have really enjoyed it and just like with every other Nature Study term - hop right in! I'm always amazed at the knowledge they soak up when we do indeed use the CM methods! From my son identifying the squash bug nymphs to all three of them narrating to me the differences between arachnids and insects during our nature study on the golden orb spider last week simply because the Lord put the beautiful creature there so we caught him to sketch and observe and then it NATURALLY led right into the discussion about the differences in our spider and the insects we'd been learning about.
I can not express to you (especially those that have never tried the CM method before) the joy and peace that I find when they absorb so much information from the "gentle art of learning" style!
Here was a BEAUTIFUL moth! And large to me - at least larger then the others we'd been watching around our lights at night. It was just striking. I grabbed the bug jar and brought it in so I could WAKE UP ;) my children to see it! They were ecstatic and not at all upset to be awaken.
It's a great feeling to get "Wow! Thanks mom!" at the end of the day over a part of our Creator's world.
Again- I feel so inclined to say - letting me know in MY HEART that the Lord is at work in our studies! After they were able to look at it- it began to flutter around in the jar and we were PLEASANTLY surprised by a brillant red color on its hind wings and body. It was quite an amazing moth. Probably the most attractive we've seen. I allowed them a few minutes to ooh and aah and talk about it then told them I'd get pictures so they could sketch it in the morning and put them back to bed.
The children's nature journal pages.
I could not find this moth in the HNS but I did find some fairly generic moth observation ideas on page 324 which I used to discuss it with the children.
1. Where did you find this moth? Was it flying by daylight or in the dusk?
2. What is the shape of the moth's body? Is it stout or slender? What colors has it? How is it marked?
Since my children are so young (5, 5, & 6 yo) I used these to get us started in our conversation as they are sketching their journals and we went from there. I had downloaded a free lapbook about butterflies just yesterday from Homeschool Free Share for those of you that enjoy lapbooks. I have never used a lapbook but had been contemplating one over the weekend to add to our studies - we normally notebook but I thought it might be fun and considered giving it a try. We used the Venn diagram to discuss the differences in butterflies and moths.
The kids really enjoyed it! I think we will continue to use this lapbook as we work on our butterfly and moth studies. Here is the excerpt from Homeschool Free Share for this topic:
Butterflies Versus Moths
Butterflies and moths may look alike, but they are very different insects.
-most butterflies fly during the day while most moths will be out and about at night
-butterflies have knobs at the end of their feelers (on their antenna), but a moth's antenna end is feather like or plain
-most butterflies rest with their wings held up above their bodies while moths rest with wings spread out flat
-butterflies usually have bright wings and moths usually have dull colored wings
-most butterflies have slender bodies; most moths have fat abdomens
-butterflies are usually hairless; moths are furry
-butterflies form a chrysalis during the pupa stage of their lives; a moth's chrysalis is usually contained inside a cocoon
-insects, birds and spiders eat butterflies; bats eat moths
Lapbook Component: Butterfly vs. Moth Venn Diagram
I also created an insect "running list" sheet for the back of my kids' nature notebooks. I created one for my son and another for my daughters. I do not have the latin names on here although there is a space for "information". This is more for younger children as mine are 5, 5, and 6 yo's. Please feel free to use it as a running tally for your own kids. :)
http://www.savefile.com/files/1748912
Thanks, Barb, for another great study!!!!
Evidently - these are NOT beans! lol - as I stated in an earlier blog post - there is something to be said for being more organized next year and labeling our seeds! Turns out - as you can obviously see - her wonderous bean plant is actually morning glories! This was a NICE suprise - however - I think we're more excited to have morning glories! They are just simply beautiful - a true spectacle every morning of the work of the Creator. I can clearly see them from my kitchen window so as I clean breakfast dishes every morning I have a gorgeous vine to look at!
The rest of the garden is slowly dwindling in the cooler weather we are having. It's always a fun time of year with school starting. Fall has always been my FAVORITE time of year - I LOVE the cooler yet not too cold weather - the pumpkins, apples, parties, and cider! After having my own flower gardens for the first time this year, however, I feel a bit saddened that I'm going to lose my beautiful flowers (especially my roses) for some months. Although - being my favorite time of year - I know it is a season and everything has a season-
Ecclesiastes 3
Everything Has Its Time
1Everything on earth
has its own time
and its own season.
2There is a time
for birth and death,
planting and reaping,